actual news from my life
i can't stop chewing my lip and my friend's cat got half-eaten by a graveyard fox. he lives on, with much stitching and a plastic collar. i love him and not just because he looks like a tiny vampyre.
this evening i tried really hard and managed to not remove sultanas from my meal. what they were doing in there in the first place is a mystery to me.
i also ate the biggest oysters you have ever seen.
i couldn't find any shoes that were comfortable enough for the wedding so i bought some velvet slippers. they are quilted, like a chanel handbag.
i'm convinced that no-one will notice. they will assume that no-one is barmy enough to wear slippers to a wedding.
i mean..they're nice ones...marks and spencers...
i've made a business card, on which i claim to be a metal guitarist.
i'll show you sometime.
i don't have a sewing box.
i have a picnic basket.
can anyone lend me a typewriter, please?
i don't mind if it's a bit broken.