i just went for a walk to deliver something to someone i've never met.
it started raining heavily and the sun was massive and totally golden and i didn't have a coat or an umbrella so my fringe was dripping in my eyes. i got the wrong address first - i was tipsy from 2 double gin and tonics, did i mention that?
then i got the right house but it was surreal, suburban...i knocked on the door and a woman started shouting angrily at someone to get down - get out - whatever..
a little finger poked through the letterbox and a tiny girl voice said - please can you wait a minute? i said yes. the little girl looked at me through patterned glass - i waved at her and she waved back - the woman inside carried on shouting, really loudly..i was really tempted to leave and then the door opened. the unhappy looking woman told me whilst trying to rein in a sleek grey puppy, that no such girl lived there..on the way home it rained more and whilst i was speaking on the phone to my friend who was unhappy and in a field in suffolk, a man shouted at me from a crack in a car window, he shouted - SEXY! but he shouted it so aggressively that i jumped.
everything is at sixes and sevens at the moment. the rain has stopped and i need a drink. i am alone and it's ok. i don't have knots in my stomach for the first time today.

saturday morning alone
caterpillars on silky threads, glowing in the sun
and butterflies, butterflies inside all the time
no food is good food
they want to steal me but there is no shine because you are not there to call
half a sandwich and one sip of pear nectar
don't ask me out because it makes me nervous
i miss the smell of the brown soap
it could happen
i'm so tired
pancakes
cuddling yrself only half works
when i didn't love you

i am in the wilderness
you turned out my light
this time i will make things right
i get cold by fire

* last night's bumpy ride
* asking my love to leave
* she smelled of synthetic strawberries
* cat takes up residence on his pillow
* cry the yellow eyeshadow off before leaving the house
* bunny spinning around in the headlights
* the list in my little drunken head
* it's about time
* can't smile without you
* apart from singing gold digga in the van
* bombay sapphire/sweet potato/lucky's
* heartbroken and up a ladder