the panel think she's a 'beautiful girl with an amazing voice'
where as i,
think she's a dullard with eyes as black a great white shark.

i lost the brooch that everybody loved.
it was pinned to my black coat.
it was a pink brooch, made of pink silk and shaped like a large flower.
it had burnt edges which made the petals curl.
it was the best thing about me.
everywhere i went, everyone i spoke to,
commented on the loveliness of that brooch.
i told friends that it was lost,
they miss it already.
it was the best thing about me.

if nothing else

i wonder what it is that i'm trying so hard to not think about?

a list of smoke and mirrors:

* biscuits and egg-snow
* fierce bitches and deletions (hanging up boas, 12 girls but only 11 pictures, no rose for you on the one to one etc. etc.
* sailor jerry and free hennessy
* her, having my eyes out with that shit
* quilted leather
* the going-to-sleep-dream of horseback riding
* fury at the children's noise
* what's in the fridge?
* pet land and all its pit falls
* myriad of problems with yr wife/husband
* old cat's milky eyes
* glowing box plus swivel seat
* lists of lists

i know that i'm tired of being earthbound; clutching an anchor under the covers, fingers too fat for a ring of silver, never visiting
and never telling you why

and last night's heart attack?
i'm so over that.


(homework)